For another perspective on today’s hot topic, you need to visit my girl, Arielle’s blog.
Let’s talk love.
Let’s talk sex.
Let’s talk myths.
Myth #1: Polyamory and Polygamy are interchangeable words for having lots of sex with lots of people with no consequences.
Actually, this isn’t true. Not only are these words not interchangeable, but neither of them are used to refer to rampant, sex-crazed behaviors typically associated with hypersexuality.
Polygamy describes the act of having multiple spouses. It can be practiced in accordance with religion and/or tribal beliefs, and is most likely patriarchal in design (i.e. multiple wives for one man). There are few polyandrous societies in the world, where it is acceptable for one woman to have multiple husbands. One such recent example of this could be found in certain Tibetan societies where one woman would marry a set of brothers, and would be expected to maintain intimate relationships with both.
Polyamory, the more popular and widely practiced of the two in the U.S., is the accepted idea amongst consenting adults that it’s okay to maintain intimate relationships with more than one person. Values of communication, honesty, ethics, and trust are typically shared amongst all people involved. Contrary to popular belief, sex is not always a factor in the successful establishment and maintenance of a polyamorous relationship. Deep values can and often are placed on emotional connectivity between those involved, with the rejection of jealousy, possessivness, and other relational cultural norms.
So, what’s the rub
Well, let’s face it people. We live in a country that has always had problems with snubbing it’s nose at anything different from the established norm. The idea of multiple people in multiple intimate relationships is foreign to most people, and downright impossible for others. It’s much easier to just shut down and reject the possible alternative, especially when that alternative may be contrary to what you’ve been taught is right. As we speak, the push to defiine marriage as an institutuion to be entered into by “one man and one woman” is taking a deeper root within our nation by the hour.
When the Bush administration passed the Defense of Marriage Act, the instantaneous and most widely known reaction can from the LGBT community, however the poly community felt the cold shouder, too. The most recent estimates cite more than 500,000 people practicing a polyamorous or polygamous lifestyle in the U.S. — all of them invalidated by our country’s conservative, fundamentalist mentality.
Viva la Revolucíon Sexual!
When we really think about it, why is it anyone’s business anyway? As long as the consent is between two adults, who are practicing safe sex, what’s the problem? Isn’t life about seeking out the happiness and fulfillment one needs? What business is it of the government to define and validate relationships for its citizens? As long as those relationships aren’t with animals (which would cause serious health risks) or incestuous (which could cause grave genetic risks), what’s the problem?
Personally, I find the possibilities for exploration and self-discovery within poly relationships exciting. Although, my partner and I are in a monogamous relationship, we also often discuss and redefine our boundaries. We both admit to being too jealous to allow a third into our relationship, however we in no way shun our friends who do and/or have practiced polyamory. We believe people should have the right to express themselves freely and in the manner that they see fit, so long as it’s safe and responsible. We also believe love should be celebrated, in all its diverse forms.
Don’t you? If not, then why?
For another perspective on today’s hot topic, you need to visit my girl, Arielle’s blog.
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